Tag Archives: humor

Do you know the meaning of exaggerate?

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My friend Tiffany P submitted this installment of  “Crazy things Kids Say.” Her son Nicholas is such a smart and witty little guy!

So I say to Nicholas yesterday: “Please don’t exaggerate, do you know what that word means buddy? For example don’t use your fake cry…I think you are really hurt. it scares mommy.”

Than Nicholas bluntly tells me:  “Actually mommy to exaggerate means to sprinkle little lies onto the truth”

…..my witty boy

Thank you Tiffany for letting me post! If you have something funny that your kid has said to share with us, please email me at lesa(at)lesasgoods(dot)com

 

A Geek Girl’s lament over her precious desktop

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So this morning, I found out that something is seriously wrong with my desktop. It is a dead desktop. I blame Bear Haven Daddy (don’t tell him I said that.) I mean it worked just fine when I used it yesterday.

He says that he is going to take it to a repairman. Do you know how scary that is for me??!!?? This is my baby! (Ok, not really, but I love my desktop. It is old, but it is mine, and it has all my stuff on it, and we have history together and stuff!!!)

Secretly, I think it knew that I am in the process of upgrading next week. However, I wasn’t getting rid of my old friend. I was just going to use it for something different.

Until then, I am using my hubby’s old lappy. I secretly think it hates me. It is all quirky and stuff. Who needs it anyways? … Oh wait… I do… for now. (sigh).

I am going to go stare at my precious desktop for just a little while with a wistful longing. Yup, I may be a geek and love her tech stuff, but deep down, I am a sentimental sap. Don’t believe me? You should check out my attic sometime!

 

If you Give A Mom a Muffin…

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One of my friends posted this on Facebook earlier today, and it was too funny (and slightly true) to not share it with all of you! Happy New Year!

   “If you give a mom a muffin, she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She’ll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She’ll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into… the freezer… will remind her… she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.) The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.”

26 Days of Thanksgiving: Letter U

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Ok, I have been thinking about this off and on all day. I spent a lot of time driving today (I will explain tomorrow), so I have had a lot of time to think. I told Julia, my exchange student, that if I would have named my daughter what I originally had planned on naming my daughter, that this would not be a problem. Long ago, I said that I wanted a daughter named Ursula. Her name is Zofia (at least I have Z covered).

So, Julia and I both agreed that we all should be thankful for the invention of Underwear! If you buy it right, it is comfy, and it keeps your bum covered!

What are you thankful for today?

7 Other things that Creep me Out (The Halloween Edition)

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So after writing my post about the Tooth Fairy and then seeing the scary, yet hilarious post on The Six Year Itch last week, I figured it was time for another installment of Lesa’s 7 things. In no particular order, here are the other things that really creep me out:

1. Clowns: I have a few non-creepy clown figurines, but that is because my Grandma gave them to me (and she was the coolest).  Thanks to my brothers, who made me watch IT, I am terrified of them.  That movie still gives me nightmares.

2. Tattoo from Fantasy Island: I don’t know why, but he has terrified me for as long as I can remember.  Every time he would say, “The Plane, the plane!” I would run screaming from the room when I was a kid. Yes, I was a strange kid…Oh, like you all don’t have some weird type phobias!

3. Mice: Totally and utterly terrified. I actually liked them as a kid. However, in junior high, I stayed in a cabin infested with them at summer camp. We had them crawling all over us at night. I have been terrified ever since.

4. Hairless Cats: Just really weird, ok.

5.  Toddlers and Tiaras: I really don’t want my daughter to ever see that show. It seriously disturbs me.

6. Escalators: While I have conquered my fear, thanks to the escalator at the subway station in Prague, I still don’t like them and have a weird phobia of my pant legs getting caught in them.

7. Snooki: enough said.

 

So does anyone have any weird phobias to top these? Anyone with me on any of these? Hope you all enjoyed my post and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

7 Fairies I wish were real

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I haven’t done a 7 Things post in a while, so to rectify this, these are the top seven fairies I wish were real and that I had:

1. The Laundry Fairy- She waves her magical wand and “poof,” I have clean clothes again. Extra happiness if she also magically put it all away

2. The Housekeeping Fairy- No more groaning about spilled milk and waffle crumbs all over the kitchen. The housekeeping fairy is there to save the day!

3. The Memo Fairy- She helps me remember everything so that I never forget a name or accidentally book two things at one time, not that I have done that for this weekend…No, not me.

4. The Gourmet Chef Fairy that not only makes everything taste good, but helps you lose weight- Enough Said

5. The Good Hair Fairy- Makes you look absolutely fabulous without even trying

6. The Hear No Evil Fairy- She makes it so that your children never hear you when you let a curse word slip, especially when driving

7. The Anti-Procrastination Fairy- She would never let someone like me write this post when I could be doing something else.

7 reasons why Mommyhood is like High School

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So the other night I had this dream, it is a recurring theme actually, and it got me to thinking about the significance of it. In my dream, I find out that something was wrong with my high school credits, and I have to go back to high school to take a few classes over. I guess it is slightly humorous considering I graduated at the top of my class with honors, but I digress.

Anyways, the dream got me thinking about how much motherhood is a lot like high school.  Think about it, being a mother definitely has its similarities. Here are my top seven:

1. Popularity. You end up finding yourself amongst a bunch of cliques, whether it is playgroups, the moms at your child’s dance class, or the parents at your child’s preschool. It is like the whole popularity schtick all over again.

2.Education.  When you were in high school, you worried about getting into the right college. Now you worry about your child getting into the right preschool.

3. Dating. You date in highschool, and then you find yourself “dating” as a mommy. You are looking for someone who could be “the one.” In this case, however, “the one” is the person you actually share interests with, other than being a mommy, and your children actually like to play together too.

4. Parties. It used to be that you hoped you were invited to the parties by the “cool kids” just to say you went. Now it is all about your child getting invited to one of those over-the-top birthday parties just to say your child went.

5. Drama. High School was always full of drama and gossip. Not much change here. There is always some sort of Mommy Drama going on. It is so hard to keep up.

6. Who has the coolest car? is now Who has the coolest toys?

7. Packing your life so full with stuff that you constantly feel like you need a nap. In high school, it was all the sports, clubs, job, and homework. Now it is all your child’s sports, clubs, your job, and helping with homework.

So those are my reasons. Can you think of any more?