The wrong kind of party

Ok, so you may have noticed I have been suspiciously absent for a few days. I have good reason, not one I like, but oh well. I have been sick again. I cannot for the life of me seem to kick this viral infection. I get a few good days in there now and then. However, I end up back where I started. I started feeling yucky late Wednesday night, and by Thursday I had a sore throat, headache and that tired feeling again. This just wasn’t a good weekend to be sick. I had new products to launch, a party to do, taxes to finish (That’s what happens when you are sick for almost 2 months), a concert to go to with the girls, prom stuff to do with the girls, and packing for my trip to visit my family. Our town was also supposed to have a children’s arts and crafts festival, but it was postponed due to the weather. Ok, so it seems like a lot, but I really thought I could handle it. I used to be able to handle all that and more back in the day.

Obviously, I did not do any of the new product stuff. However, I plan on doing it before I visit my family. I did not go to the concert. My husband took the girls. Packing has not even begun. As for the party, thank goodness my assistant was there because I never would have made it. For the most part while I have been sick, I have really been trying to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing. I even wrote a funny post about it, but by Saturday night I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had a big old pity party.

I just cried. I don’t like being sick. I don’t like being behind. I don’t like when my kids worry about their mommy. I don’t like feeling useless. I am just tired of it all. My husband was trying to be supportive as I bawled my eyes out. He had a nasty viral infection some years ago that just went on and on and on… However, by that point I just was in a miserable mood. In addition to being sick, I have been having the headaches again. In fact I had one today that felt like someone was choking my skull, hit the front of my head with a bat, and let Wolverine stick his claws in my head. You get the picture.

Of course, when I get the headaches this bad, that sends my whole pity party to a whole different level. I start thinking about the accident again, and how it really changed things for me. I start thinking about how at that moment in time, I really thought I was living a fairy tale, and how the actions of one careless person changed the course of my life. I then start thinking about how it would be nice to not have the headaches or pain. It kinda sucks sometimes.

However, I don’t want to get sucked into this way of thinking. Yeah, I may have gotten majorly shafted some years back when the accident happened, and right now it really sucks to keep getting sick. However, feeling sorry for myself is not going to make it better. In fact, I think it probably makes it worse. I am not going to say that I am never going to complain, but I think this particular party is over.

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