Ramblings about my mom
When I was a little girl, I used to tell my mom that when I grew up, I was going to live with her and take care of her. Of course, things did not happen that way. I grew up and moved far away.
My children tell me all the time that they want to live with me forever. In fact, my daughter plans to get married and have a ton of children (half a dozen or so) living at the house as well. While I think it is cute, and I am a bit flattered, I also know that, like me, they will one day want to spread their wings and explore the big, wide world.
So why am I sharing this? I am not really sure. I was thinking about it the other day when my mom told me she had to have some tests done for her heart. She is also supposed to have back surgery later this month. Two years ago, she had a mastectomy and treatment for breast cancer. Each time, something happens with my mom concerning her health, each of the 500 miles between us seem so much longer. I cannot always come out there like I want. It stinks. I wonder if my children will go through this someday, and I wonder if I will be able to assure them that it is okay, like my mom assured me when I could not be with her when I thought I should.
When I was younger, it was almost impossible for me to think of my mom getting older. Now that I am older, I know that she is getting older. As much as I don’t like it, it is a part of life. While I can’t always be there, I can always call her. I can send letters. I can let her know how much I love her, and I can visit her as often as I can. When it comes down to it, I don’t know how long any of us will live, and that is why I always want my family and friends, no matter how far they are from me, to know that I love them with everything that I am. While I am not there, I am thankful for all they have done. Right now, while it is scary every time my mom has a health problem, I just want her to know that while I am not there in presence, I am there in spirit. Also I think she has a lot of feistiness left in her, and I hope and pray she is around for many years to come.