Little over three years ago, my husband changed careers to work as a geologist in the oilfield. While I am happy he has a job, sometimes I have a hard time accepting the constant changes that come with it. It is a hard life. I ended up joining a few online support groups for Oilfield Wives because it gets so lonely. Anyways…he changed companies at the end of the summer, and for the first time in three years, we actually had a fairly predictable schedule, one I could actually like. It helped so much because as any oilfield wife (or wife of a husband who has to be gone from family for long periods of time) would tell you, it puts a serious strain on your marriage and relationship. For the first time in a very long time, my husband and I were able to actually reconnect and work on our marriage. Life was good.
However, tonight, we had a curveball thrown our way. My husband’s rig will be laying down after the first of the year. So he will be sent somewhere else. We live in Pennsylvania. He has already worked Kansas, Missouri, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Montana, and North Dakota. Now he will be working in Canada. His schedule will change, and we will only see him for about a week out of the month (I am not sure if that includes travel time or not). Needless to say, I am a little taken aback right now.
My husband assures me that it is not forever, and I don’t want to complain to him or even complain about his job when I feel damn lucky that he has one. However, it hurts so bad. Our marriage is starting to heal. Our relationship is blossoming. Our kids love seeing him more. We were even contemplating having another child. Now I just don’t know. He assured me it will be okay, but unfortunately, I remember the last time he had to go so far away. In 2010 because of the distance and everything else, we saw each other about 60 days of the entire year. It put a serious strain on our marriage and really wore me out. I know it wore him out as well.
I know he is excited about the opportunity. Maybe it will all work out in the end, but right now I just want to eat all the holiday goodies the kids and I made yesterday until I am in a white flour and sugar induced haze and then crawl under my covers and hide for a while.
He won’t be home for the holidays, and next month, he won’t even be in the same country. To all of you with spouses who have to go far away for long periods of time, how do you do it because I feel like my heart is breaking right now?