Running on Empty

That about sums up how I feel today. This week has been emotionally harder than I thought it would be. As many of you are aware, my husband’s company has moved him to Canada. He was home for most of last month waiting for his passport renewal to get back and preparing for the trip. I got comfortable in him being home. I thought I had a little more time. However, he received a call a few days ago and started heading for Calgary on Friday. And while I have been through all of this before, I just can’t seem to get my emotions in check this time.

He has worked far away in the past. In 2010, he was gone for over 300 days of the year. I swore I never wanted to go through that again. I think that is what is bothering me the most, not the fact that he just left and it was so quick or that the kids have already managed to drive me up a wall, but that I am afraid. I am afraid of repeating 2010 again. I am afraid of what it will do to our marriage. I am afraid of the unknown. There are so many of them right now. I don’t know how long he will be gone, if he will have a schedule, how long his time home will be, if we will end up taking partial residency in Canada, if we will be able to Skype or talk on the phone because he will be on a remote location, or  how I will be able to keep it together and stay strong when I feel so alone. Right now, I just feel so drained. I just want to crawl under the covers and cry. I just want someone to hug me and tell me it’s ok. I just want my children to not take this all out on me because I really just don’t have anymore patience right now. I just want to be strong, but I feel like I am falling apart.

I know I will get through this somehow. I just wish that I was Superwoman and not an emotional basket case.

I know I am not the only one who has been through times like this, so my question to any of my readers with significant others who are often away is this: How do you get through the emotional times and the times when everything seems like one big unknown?

I love hearing your thoughts, suggestions, and comments!

4 Comments

  1. 😦 I know how you feel. I have someone very close to my heart who lives 800+ miles away. Over the past two years we have only been together for one week….one week out of two years. It’s VERY hard. I rely on this person a lot for emotional support and the distance is very difficult to deal with. Despite the distance, we have a very close relationship and that does help. As cheesy as it sounds imagining them here and picturing that person in my daily life is a bit of a comfort. Also, knowing that our situation is only temporary and that one day we will see each other again keeps me going through the hard times.
    It must be very difficult having your husband so far away and when the kids get roudy I can imagine it’s 10 times worse. Best wishes to you and I hope you get to see your husband again soon!

    1. Thank you! It must be hard to have that person only with you for one week out of two years. I am always so thankful for technology, when it works. It helps make it easier on my kids if they just get to see a video of their daddy now and then.

  2. Aw, I’m so sorry. A very good friend has a husband who spent considerable time away for work and with USAF reserve duties. She used to call herself the married single mama. I remember how hard it was for her, and can imagine how tough it must be for you and the kids. They did get through it, and I hope and pray you do too.
    I can only recommend that you talk a lot, and are honest with each other. That’s always helped at our house.
    Peace and good to you.

  3. My husband travels quite frequently, but 300 days of the year is a LOT. It’s not easy to do it all and then deal with the before and after of travel and acclimating everyone back into their regular routine.

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