As you can imagine, the last six weeks have been one heck of a roller coaster for my family. In all honesty, with my youngest being eight years old, my husband and I sort of feel like new parents again. There is so much more baby gear out there than there was eight years ago, not to mention that with more social media, comes the element of more connection with information, some good and some bad. While we tried to mentally prepare ourselves ahead of time, and while I kept making plans of action and back up plans of action, it kinda all went to heck somewhere along the way. Having a baby that only recently decided to sleep occasionally has made it impossible to do much of anything, and if you have actually gotten to see me recently, you may have noticed that I may have turned into a Mombie.
While I don’t talk about it a lot on this blog, I am an oilfield wife. My husband has a schedule of a sorts now, but as an oilfield geologist, he has spent much of his career not having one. For now, he is gone two weeks and home for one week. As luck would have it, he came home for his week off, and Sweet Pea was born the next day. However, he had to go back to work a week after she was born. I had my parents for a few days, and I have had a few friends to lend morale support. However, it has not been easy. Sweet Pea had jaundice. She did not want to nurse. She has had colic. Then there is the issue of my two older kids. While I tried hard to do so much with them before Sweet Pea’s birth, they have felt slighted because I just don’t have the energy right now. They have both been acting out, and I am just too exhausted to try to deal with it all. I probably could ask for help from my close friends, but honestly, I have issues with feeling like I have to be able to do everything on my own. I am not even sure where to begin with accepting help for the most part.
Needless to say, I am worn out. So this week my family and I headed off to the Poconos to recharge our batteries. While I know not everyone can up and just go on vacation (we actually planned this trip months in advance), new moms need to find ways to recharge their batteries. If someone offers help, moms need to take it. Yes, I know I need to take my own advice (Please read: don’t end up like me as in I ended up in the ER for exhaustion for goodness sake). We need to be gentle to ourselves. It is also important to find your tribe… meaning surround yourself with people who love you and remove negativity from your life. Sometimes I think it’s easy to get into the mindset that we have to do everything on our own. Remember that saying that “It takes a village.” I think it really does. I don’t think we should have to do it all on our own, and we need to have realistic expectations.
If you are a parent and reading this blog, what tips do you have for moms who just had a baby? How did you find your “village” or “tribe?”
Please leave your tips and advice in the comments below or join in the discussion on Bear Haven Mama on Facebook!