What to expect when having a baby after 40 (and during a pandemic)

So this baby story is a little different than a regular birthing story because this birth happened to take place during a very rough time in our history. Having a baby after turning 40 definitely makes for a totally different experience than when you are younger. However, having a baby during a pandemic makes for an experience like no other. So this baby story is for those who have been wanting to see our new little addition, for those who are nervous about having a baby during a pandemic, and for those who are going to have a baby after age 40. This is how little Pistachio came into the world!

 

Having a Baby After 40

I never thought I would be one to have a baby after 40. Granted, for a while I thought I was done after my second child. Then we decided to have Crankles, which was a long and hard journey. I wanted her to have a younger sibling because of the huge age gap between the kids. However, after going through a lot of health issues and trying to get answers, I thought that part of my life was a closed chapter.

A little over a year ago, I got pregnant though, and it filled me with such joy that perhaps that dream could come true. However, that baby was not meant to be, and I miscarried on Thanksgiving. With the knowledge that I could get pregnant and also knowing that I was getting better every day, we decided to just see what could happen. I ended up getting pregnant by the end of February!

 

Is it really that different having a baby after 40?

Is it really that different? Well, for me, it wasn’t. Honestly, this was physically my easiest pregnancy. I trained for a virtual 5k while pregnant. Mentally, this wasn’t a great time, but that had more to do with dealing with the pandemic than anything else.

I felt a little more tired. However, that could be pregnancy itself or the fact that I am older. However, I kept active and ate well.

Granted, doctors tend to see you differently after hitting 40. Due to age and previous health issues, my doctor made me see a high risk doctor for the last trimester, and I had to do non-stress tests a few times a week. However, I took it in stride and saw it as an opportunity to listen to the baby, even if it meant getting up early a few times a week to do it!

 

Preparing for a Baby During a Pandemic

Heading to the Doctor

When I first found out I was pregnant, it was right before all the lockdowns and quarantine started. I spent the first part of my first trimester still going to my OB/GYN like usual. Since I had a history of miscarriages, they checked my levels a lot during my first trimester.

However, I still remember how nervous I was going into the office after we all got put on lockdown this spring. We all had to wear masks. I brought gloves just in case because there was so much we just didn’t know. However, I started feeling more at ease as my pregnancy progressed. I ended up switching OB/GYN part way through. I am very big on advocating for myself. I had some issues with my doctor that made me uncomfortable with having her deliver my baby. The switch was great for my mental health, and I loved my doctor.

 

 

Planning for My New Arrival

Planning for Pistachio was so different than planning for my other children. I remember buying little bits at a time and going to the store to finish up my registry. I did my entire baby registry online this time. I shopped for essentials online and did curbside pick up. My friends and family even through me a baby shower on Zoom.

It all seemed so weird to not be able to share my progress with most of my friends and family in person. However, I tried to find ways to make my pregnancy fun, despite the pandemic by doing things like photoshoots. I took lots of belly shots, but I also did some more artistic looks, like punk/post-apocalyptic shoot. It gave me something else to focus on which helped.

 

Birthing During A Pandemic

Before going into delivery, I already knew that this birth wasn’t going to be like my others. People weren’t going to be able to visit me in the hospital. I wasn’t going to have family and friends afterwards.

My doctor told me several weeks in advance that I was only allowed one person with me. My children would not be allowed to visit. My one person would be the only person allowed into the hospital for my entire stay.

What made that a little tricky for my family was knowing that my husband would not be my in hospital person. My husband does not deal with blood and bodily fluids that well. He and I both knew that because of that, he would not be able to be the support I needed in delivery. Also, we needed someone to take care of the other children. As much as we hated it, we made the decision to have one of my closest friends be that person instead. She came to the hospital when I arrived, supported me through the delivery, and kept me company during my stay.

 

Delivering During the Pandemic

Talk about a totally weird experience! I delivered my baby with my mask on, which was kinda weird. However, I got used to having it on after a while. I kept my asthma inhaler beside me, in case I needed it. I had to have my mask pretty much any time a nurse or doctor was in the room.

The hospital staff made me feel at ease. For someone who gets panic attacks frequently and has a lot of anxiety, seeing how everything ran efficiently made me relax. I was in and out in about 48 hours! My husband had to wait for me in our vehicle. That was his first time seeing baby Pistachio. However, we kept in contact the whole time with video chat, photos, and videos.

 

Final Thoughts

Having a baby after 40 can be stressful. Having a baby during a pandemic is also stressful. The combination of the two definitely has made for a weird past several months. However, our family is adjusting to being a family of 6. Little Pistachio is actually my easiest baby (knock on wood). While it does get lonely, and it has been stressful, I am enjoying my baby and trying to get through postpartum depression currently, as well as just adjusting to everything.

I look forward to the day when the pandemic is over and things seem more normal again. For now, I am just going to snuggle my baby and keep trying to just get through things the best I can.

I hope you found my story helpful…or that you enjoyed my photos. As always, you can see more of our life on Instagram at @bearhavenmama and @prissymissydoll!