Today was one of those trying days. You know the kind…the kind where you wish you had a reset button, but there is none to be found…the kind where you wish you were a million miles away from the mess in front of you. Today was definitely that day.
Miss Crankles is on a sleep strike…again. She will not nap. She will not go to bed at night. She creeps into my room at 3am and scares the shit out of me on a regular basis. Last night, I stayed up and cuddled her. She cannot tell me everything since she is only two and has a limited vocabulary, but the gist of it is that she misses her daddy. It breaks my heart because I am so exhausted that I don’t know what else to do that I am not already trying to do for her to help her adjust to her daddy being in the oilfield again. And I am tired! I am so tired. I have not gotten a lot of sleep since my husband went back to the field. Everyone has gotten sick, and they don’t get sick all at once. No, they spread that shit out! It is like they plan it or something. Needless to say, even when my husband was home from the hitch, he and I were taking turns with a sick toddler. It is making me grumpy, so ever grumpy, which leads me to today.
Today sucked! I was ready to call it a day by noon. I did not even get my coffee until 2 if that tells you how bad it was. It all started with a nap, okay an attempt at one. Okay, so Crankles really did not even attempt the nap, but she was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, she took a dump. Then she took her clothes off. Then, I guess she decided she needed to inspect what was inside of her diaper, which then led to her finally yelling out that she needed a diaper. Yeah…the room, well, it had been redecorated in more of a “Feels like a crime scene” motif.
The big kids and I split up and got her bathed…Dude! She had it in her hair! Sissy kept her busy while Bubby and I sniffed and disinfected the room. Luckily, it was not as bad as we first thought. She kept it all to one area. Nothing was ruined. It was just disgusting. On the up side, the girls have a really, really clean bedroom.
Today was one of those days that I struggled to keep calm. I am tired. She was gross. I know she does not mean any of it. However, sometimes it is a struggle to keep it all together. Let’s face it, we cannot all keep it together all the time. While parenthood is a wonderful thing, it is stressful and exhausting. You think that after the first year, you might get more sleep, but the truth is that you might not. You think that your partner might be able to share the load, but the truth is that life is complicated. My partner is gone for two weeks out of the time, and I just have to deal. You think that it will get easier with time, but well, I now have a teenager and can honestly say it does not get easier. To be honest, teenage Bubby kinda scares me because I know that in a few years he will be driving and going off to college. Nope, it doesn’t get easier.
These are the times that I have to remind myself, “But, they sure are cute!” My kids are adorable. Granted, I am a little biased, but they really are. I look into Crankles’ squishy face, and it is so hard to stay mad. I know she had no malicious intent…well unless she is the female version of Stewie Griffin maybe. (Okay, so I may have thought that once or twice.) Anyways…focusing on her cuteness diffuses things for me. It makes it easier to get through a bad day. It makes it easier to move forward.
Parenting is hard. Sometimes it downright sucks, but we are all in this together. How do you keep it together on days you feel like you are falling apart?