…It is kinda like living with a pint-sized dictator. They make no sense. Their word is law. It is subject to change, and if you do not tow the line, you will be punished (usually with thrown food or flailing on the ground while screeching in a high-pitched noise). Let’s take a look at all the ways I have been awful to my tiny dictator this morning, shall we:
1. I tried to help her get dressed. In my defense, I tried to give her one of her precious pairs of handmade wool pants she loves.
2. It was somehow my fault that she could not get her arm through the armhole.
3. The oatmeal was taking too long to cook.
4. She wanted more oatmeal, and we had to make more. (Note, she ate more than the 10 year old)
5. I had to wash her hands after she used the potty. (She pooped and kept touching her bottom…Eww gross!)
6. I wanted to re-heat my coffee (because apparently she just wanted to cuddle nurse ALL DAY LONG)
7. She had to get her own plate for snack. She did not like the color she chose. She did not want me to have a plate.
8. I dared to heat her Pop Tart that she asked me to heat.
9. Sissy tried to play with her, and I let her.
10. It took me too long to get her Pull Up because I forgot to refill the basket.
Yup, I am just awful, am I not? I should be punished by being forced to watch Nick Jr for the rest of the afternoon.
I hope you all know this is completely tongue-in-cheek, and if you know the struggle is real, don’t forget to share with your favorite mom of toddlers!