Pregnancy tests are just not funny

April Fool’s Day is a day of elaborate jokes and pranking. Heck, I have participated in my fair share of fairly epic pranks. However, there is one “joke” that gets pulled year after year, and it is never funny. That “joke” in question is a fake pregnancy announcement.

pregnancy test stick

Photo by Steid for Pixabay

I use “joke” loosely in the above statement because it really is no joke at all. On April Fool’s Day after I had my first miscarriage, one of my Facebook friends, posted a pregnancy test on her wall. I am sure she thought of it as a harmless prank, but it felt like a kick in the gut. Here is this chick basically saying, “Ha Ha. Psyche! I am not really pregnant. Pregnancy is soooo hilarious, you all.” All I kept feeling was how my body failed me, how I was supposed to be a few months away from having my sweet baby, and all I had was an empty womb and a still broken heart.

Women grieve differently. Some women who are struggling with infertility or suffered miscarriages can see this and not be affected. I am not one of them. My back to back losses made me feel like a failure. They ripped my heart apart. I fell apart. I had nightmares. In fact, I still have nightmares sometimes, and it has been over four years since my last loss. For many women, this “joke” acts as a trigger, a reminder of how our bodies have not given us what we wanted, a reminder of what we have lost.

I have written about my losses quite a bit, as well as my journey to my rainbow baby. I have done it because miscarriage is still a somewhat taboo subject, and many people are still insensitive about the subject. My losses spiraled me to a very dark point in my life. The feelings from my losses made me want to rip my heart out to ease the hurt inside me. So I wrote and wrote and wrote…to heal…to share…and to help others understand.

There are plenty of jokes that you can try for April Fool’s Day, but don’t be a jerk. “Jokes” like a fake pregnancy announcement can really hurt someone you love, someone who may be struggling with infertility or someone who may have miscarried. Because these are subjects that are not always shared, you may not even know about their struggles, so find something else. Don’t be insensitive. Be funny. Be creative. Don’t be a jerk on April Fool’s Day.


When it all needs to change…

For those of you following my blog and social media, you may have noticed that I have been very absent from everything. If you have been following for a while, you know that I have had a rough few years, and over the last year and a half, it included having a baby, getting diagnosed with postpartum depression, ending up in the hospital twice, being life-flighted one of those times, moving to a new state, and having my husband get laid off and start a new career. I really tried to hang on there for a while, and I do feel I have a story to tell. I had brands that I had products to review as well. I didn’t want to let people down. However, I think I finally realized late last fall that I was doing no one any good the way I was, myself included and took a break.

I had intentions to start the blog back up again much sooner than now. However, I realized that my blog as it was no longer fit as I am going forward. I am no longer Bear Haven Mama. I no longer have a children’s shop or party planning business. I had wanted to start my business back up after moving, but I have made the decision to just be done with it for now. My heart is not in it. I do not have the energy for it. It is not who I am anymore.

So, now what? Well, I didn’t want to lose my domain, so I decided to change the name of the blog to something that would fit me, the contributors I am adding to the blog, and the feel of the direction I would like this blog to go.

Therefore, I proudly welcome you to Misfit Mama Bear Haven! It’s a place where we tell stories…about us, our kids, and our spouses too! It is where you can read about people who are just trying to go through life making it however they can. It is a place where being a misfit is okay and even celebrated.

So if you have decided to stick around to read this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and invite you to continue the journey onto the next chapter of my family’s tale, as well as some new tales from some new friends too!

Welcome to the Misfit Mama Bear Haven!