What to say to a woman having a baby…

…Pretty sure the appropriate response should be: Congratulations! Yes, there may be some women you know that are having babies, and maybe you don’t think they should for whatever reason. However, those feelings are often best to be kept to yourself.
Why am I even talking about this? Well, to put it simply, it has come up, and quite frankly it’s kind of hurtful when people use your pregnancy to take jabs about your parenting skills, husband, job, life, or whatever.
I know not everyone is happy my husband and I are having another baby. However, this is something we thought long and hard over for a long time before we started trying two years ago. After the heartache of losing two while on this journey, this is still something we want to do.

baby crying
Why yes, I do realize that the baby may do this and do it a lot, and I am okay with that.

I may not be the best mother in the world, but I do try. I try to do what is best for my children, and I have their best interests at heart. Not only that, I love them dearly. I love being a mother. I know how challenging it is to raise children when their daddy is gone for weeks at a time seeing as how I have been parenting like this for almost 6 years. I know that babies cry. I know that it is a forever commitment, and it is one I am willing to take on fully…again.
As you can tell from my tone, I have heard it all and usually from people that really have no reason to say anything at all…people who are not active in my children’s lives, people who don’t lend me a hand when I need it, people who just like to have something to complain about and I just happen to be their target that day.
As much as I wish it didn’t hurt, it does, like today when I was told that if it turns out there is something wrong with my baby, it’s okay because I have two children already and I obviously don’t know what kind of commitment or how hard it is to raise a child. Um…excuse me? My two children seem to be pretty well-adjusted. I obviously know what kind of commitment it is since I have done this twice before, and yes, I do know how hard it is to raise a child and also how much it sucks sometimes to do it on my own when my husband is away, especially knowing there are people out there that I guess want to see me fail.
Needless to say, that conversation today really stung.
So yes, there are going to be people in your life that you are not going to agree with their choices. And if you come across a pregnant woman that happens to be one of those people, do the proper thing. Say “congratulations” and keep your opinion to yourself.



  1. Jennifer Keeler
    April 1, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    who says that stuff? oh my goodness…they need a censor button.

  2. melodynichole
    April 24, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Comments like this amaze me. You are creating a precious life and this is a wonderful yet, difficult time. People should really make a point to be even MORE understanding. I am truly sorry for their thoughtlessness.

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