As I am writing this, in a few short minutes it will be April 28 which holds special significance for me and my husband. No, it is not our anniversary, per se, but it is the day that we use as our point of reference as to how long we have been together. This year, it will be nine years since we first said the words “I love you.” Our relationship from that point has been pretty much like us as people: complex, eccentric, and slightly crazy. Many times I never thought it was going to make it this far, and I am thankful it has because despite our problems, he is still my bestest friend in the whole world.
I sometimes feel that we never got a fair deal in getting started, something I expressed to my husband this weekend. We rushed into marriage little over a year after getting together which was overshadowed by my accident, followed by a surprise pregnancy a few months into our wedded bliss. We were so thrown, and it took a long time to recover as we struggled to make a way to provide for our new addition. Now, of course, we have another big obstacle to overcome in our journey together, my husband’s job. He is a geologist and is gone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. He has been doing this for about a year and a half now, but it is still hard to deal with some days.
The difficulities lie in that it is hard to come together as a family after the absense and that we never know how long we have together before he has to leave again. It is easy for him to go into his own world while he is on site and stay there when he gets home because he has grown accustomed to it. It is often hard for me to understand him and for him to understand me. Then when you add the fact that our families and friends don’t understand it either, well, let’s just say that a lot of miscommunication goes on very often.
We were fortunate to have a few days to ourselves last weekend which was much needed. It helped to be able to talk about some of the things that have been eating at us, to get it all out in the open. No, it is not perfect, but we do want to try to make things work. We are fortunate that he has a good job, but unfortunately that job takes him away from the family way too much. So we have a lot of work to do, and we want to do it. We also need the support of our families and friends to give us the extra encouragement when the road is hard.
My husband and I have been through a lot together over these last nine years. I say to everyone reading this that if you find someone that you love with all your heart to do what it takes to make it work. To my husband, I say on this day and every day, “I love you.”