As a mom with chronic illness, I sometimes feel I am not a good enough mom. If you suffer from a chronic illness, maybe you feel the same way. So I thought I would take a moment today to share why you don’t suck as a mom, even when you feel you do!
How I feel as a Mom with Chronic Illness
Chronic illness changed how I see myself as a mother. Sometimes I feel like an utter failure. I have to take naps most days. I say no a lot more than I used to in regards to activities and events. I don’t have a lot of energy. However, I have realized that this does not make me a bad mother. Sometimes as parents, I think we are a little hard on ourselves.
Ways we know we are doing okay…
I was watching my girls play. They are usually pretty happy kids…Okay, so as I am writing this, they started fighting about something. Apparently, the three year old wanted to get something else out to play and was reminded about how we have to put away toys when we are done. Rather than ask me, they decided to fight about it. They are back to playing dolls now like nothing ever happened.
And that…is just the thing. They play together and are happy. They get to see friends and love socializing. However, when they are at home, they are content doing whatever here too. Even when they argue, they can problem solve and be back to pals a few minutes later. To see my kids settled lets me know they are well-adjusted.
How they communicate with us…
My kids and I have an open line of communication. They come to me when they are bothered by something. We snuggle and talk. Even if they are disappointed as to why we cut something from our schedule, we discuss it. I know who my kids’ friends are. Plus, I know what they like to do…their interests.
It’s important to know these things and to be active in their lives. They also know that I am actively working on a solution and the constant trips to doctors won’t be forever. Even as A mom with chronic illness, I am trying to be there for them.
The Ways they show us love…
Having a close relationship with your kids is a sign that we are doing okay. When I say close relationship, I mean that your kids are showing empathy to us and the world around us as well. This past weekend, my son threw me a surprise birthday party. It was one of the sweetest gestures that anyone has ever done for me. He and I do not always agree on things. However, the fact that he came up with this idea shows love. He knows I have been having a rough time and wanted to make me happy.
A family’s relationship is give and take and being there for each other in good times and bad. Seeing the love that went into the gesture made me feel like I did something good (even if it was just passing down my party planning skills). When we can show our kids ways to love and show love to others, we are preparing them for a life that they can bring that kind of action to others. Hopefully, it will make their world a better place as adults. Even as a mom with chronic illness, I can still do that!
Just Know that as a mom with chronic illness…
Just know that if you are a mom with chronic illness, like me, you are not failing your family. While we may not have as much energy, we are still good parents. Our kids can still become amazing adults. We just have to work with what we have and keep plugging away. I hope this helps, and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
This makes me feel much better. I feel useless as a mum at times, I feel like we stay in mostly and then I feel bad for the kids but I spoke to my eldest yesterday and he said no it’s fine mum I like when we all can play and chill at home! And that meant so much to me. I think we overthink it but the truth is the kids are happy if they are loved not continuously out doing things! Xx
This is awesome. I feel like this alot