Yesterday I got the mail, and there was a catalog for planning a child’s first birthday. While I still think about the babies that I will not be able to hold in my arms, I have gotten to the point in this pregnancy where I am really starting to finally bond with the baby I am carrying and actually starting to think about the future. However, yesterday made me think about the first baby I lost at the end of the first trimester. That baby would have been one in July. What sucks is that thanks to a certain major maternity store chain, my address seems to be forever on all sorts of mailing lists, and sometimes it just triggers emotion.
You see, when I was pregnant with the first baby I lost, I went to that maternity store two months into the pregnancy in need of some bras. What I didn’t know was that I was going to be put on a list that would be sold to countless companies. What has made it worse is that for every company’s list I get removed from, I seem to have more in its place. Shortly after my first loss, I tried to be removed from email lists and mailing lists. For a while it seemed to have worked. However, right around the time of my missed due date, which was also shortly after when I lost my second pregnancy, I got a “Welcome Baby” package from a formula company. Then the formula coupons started coming in. Then the birth announcement coupons came pouring in. I was constantly barraged with mail reminding me of what I was not going to have to the point that I just stopped looking at the mail for a while.
It finally subsided after some months, only to return yesterday with a stupid catalog to remind me that in a few short months, I would have had a baby turning one. I am starting to get excited for the baby growing inside me, and I love feeling her kicks and hiccups. I am counting down the days until I meet her. However, it still hurts, and it sucks that I cannot seem to escape the junk mail brought on by my visit to the maternity store.
My goal now is to never give that store any of my business ever again. I think I would rather be naked at this point than to support a business that sells its information when this could happen to someone else who loses a pregnancy.
If any of you have experienced something similar, I would love to hear about it in the comments below.